As a programmer, I take a certain amount of interest when Hollywood uses computers in movies. It's just that sometimes I wish they did things a bit more realistically.
There have been many classic examples of bad uses of computers in movies:
* Independence Day: Jeff Goldblum's character does a number of wonderful things with computers in this movie. Most notably, he quickly whips up a virus that can infect the alien technology and bring down their shields. He does this using a wireless network. Wow. Lucky for Jeff, the aliens were using Apple Macs, since the code he wrote and compiled on his product-placed Mac laptop ran seemlessly on the alien ship's computer. And good thing the aliens provided detailed specs on how to turn off their shields beforehand, because getting that to work on the first attempt would have been impossible otherwise.
Jeff also uses a huge countdown clock to demonstrate how little time remained until the attack started. The kind of countdown clock where the numbers take up the entire width and height of the screen (actually, is there any other kind?). “Quick, we're running out of time. I even spent a couple of hours writing a giant countdown timer to prove it.”
* Mission Impossible: Perhaps the funniest use of the Internet of all time. Tom Cruise is searching for a villian who goes by the name “Job”, as in the biblical Job. So he brings up an Internet search engine and enters “job”. No hits. Searching for the word “job” in Google today returns 900 MILLION hits - no joke, 900 million. But in Mission Impossible, Tom Cruise got no hits. Zero. Of course, through 3 or 4 minutes of intense Internet searching, he does eventually find a person who goes by the name “Job” in some random forum, and it's the right person.
Mission Impossible also does the huge password box trick. Like when you are asked to enter your password, the textbox takes up the entire height and width of the screen. That program is done by the same person who does the countdown clocks no doubt.
And wouldn't it have been infinitely easier (and safer) to create a fake list of CIA agents (with fake names) than to break into CIA headquarters, drug people, bypass laser vents... yadda yadda yadda all the way up to having to stop the villian from uploading the real file off the train? Create a fake list - she has no way to verify it.
* The Net: Sandra Bullock got virtually “erased” from all the databases in the world because she accidentally clicked on a small “Pi” icon in some application. The Pi icon revealed a bunch of secret stuff noone wanted revealed. Who was the idiot, however, that put the Pi icon to be clicked by anyone who came along? If you don't want secret stuff revealed, don't publish it.
* Jurassic Park: 12 year old girl reboots a Unix computer to reset the park security systems, that uses a 3D zoom-in interface. Just like the security systems at school no doubt.
* The Fifth Element: How come every bomb has a big LED timer? If I were inventing bombs, I would not put an LED or anything that would help the intended victims escape. And how come the ships computer knew exactly how many seconds there were remaining til the bomb went off? “2 Minutes till Total Desctruction. 60 seconds. 10, 9, 8...“ Was the bomb somehow tied into the ships master computer? Why?
* Swordfish: If you cannot hack into this computer that uses 128-bit encryption in 60 seconds, we will kill you. Ah, so this whole use SSL for Banking business can be hacked in a minute huh? It looked like he did it by guessing passwords randomly. “pass“. nope, “password“. nope, “12345“. nope, “54321“. nope, “rosebud“. it worked! whew, i just cracked a top-secret computer! I am so smart.
Then for the big job, Hugh Jackman created a worm using a 5- or 6- LCD screen computer (why so many screens?) using no code. Just point and click. Drag boxes on top of other boxes. W00t! I just programmed a multi-headed hydra.
* CSI (TV show): almost any information you can think of exists in a searchable database somewhere. “I'm comparing the victims shirt against a database of all known shirts. Aha! This style of shirt was manufactured in Japan in 1972 and sold in 16 retail stores in Washington State. But only 5 of these shirts were ever sold! I'm printing a list of the owners now.“ Where do you get all these obscure databases? Truthfully, nowhere. A database of all known shirts does not exist.
Searching for fingerprints is fun. The computer doesn't do it's work quickly and in the background - it displays every fingerprint on file, correlates the significant markings of the given print against that data record graphically, and then moves on to the next print. At 2 prints per second, the computer can search around 7000 prints per hour. Man, getting a fingerprint match in CSI must take days. Weeks even.
Did you know that a computer could take an audio tape, subtract out the primary conversation on it, subtract out the background noise of cars driving by, and pick up the tiniest background whisper? And then match the whisperer to the suspect? Neither did I.
Some plot devices are used by so many movies it's hard to remember:
* Deleting files in a spectacularly graphical fashion. The Net, Eraser, and Clear and Present Danger are just three of the movies that display the contents of each file before deleting it. So if I wanted to delete a directory of documents, MS Word opens all 20 files, and one at a time they start dissolving from the screen. That's efficient!
* The magic of elevator systems, fire alarm systems, lighting systems, and air conditioning systems... When the hero needs to shut down an elevator (turn off the lights, set off a fire alarm in another part of the building, etc.), there is always some incredibly sophisticated graphical interface showing the present status of all elevators. And conveniently, anyone can hack into them from anywhere. Even in a van parked out on the street. Just once I'd like to see the hero call to his buddy outside “Jack, shut down the elevator. Now!” and the response come back “It's not that type of elevator - stupid!”
* A single bullet can destroy a computer forever. This happened twice in The Negotiator. “The files are on the computer.” Bang - single gunshot into the body of the computer. “Oh, where am I going to get the files now. Let's go to his house.” Bang - single gunshot again. Damn. The files are lost forever. What incredible aim they have, that a single bullet not only pierces and destroys a hard drive (and the relevant sectors no less) but will cut the power supply to the computer and monitor instantly. One shot, the computer is totally and completely destroyed.
* Hacking the password, one digit at a time. Say you have a 10-character password that is used for launching a nuclear missle. A computer system that is trying to hack the password will be able to get 1 letter at a time. So the first letter is a “T“ and it only has nine more to go. Oddly, the last letter takes a few minutes for the computer to get (even though there are only 36 numbers and letters to choose from). Passwords cannot be hacked one letter at a time - either you have the whole thing, or you have nothing. It's not like a safe.
* The phone call trace. Ah, I'll end this post with one of the most used, and also idiotic, uses of computers in movies - the phone call trace. Bad guy calls in to taunt the police. He's smart though, so he bounces his call through several countries in Europe and the Carribean before calling the cops. The cops, however, have a special phone call trace computer that graphically displays the call. An amazing yellow line bounces from the States, to Belgium, slowly makes its way to France, inches across to Germany... the line zig-zags across a map of the world... all the while the cops are trying to keep the guy on the line. The guy, however knows EXACTLY how many seconds the cops phone call trace computer needs, and hangs up 1 second before it finishes. The amazing yellow line ends up in the middle of the Atlantic (just millimeters from its final destination) and all hopes of tracing the call are lost. This is used in at least one Bond film and even Mission Impossible I think.
Luckily for the cops, all the world's phone system computers are interconnected and easily queried for traces. Unfortunately for the cops, tracing from one country to the other takes 10-20 seconds, and so the on-screen line draws itself really slowly to show the time passing. Luckily for the bad guys, such a trace takes a predetermined amount of time (30 seconds say), and if they hang up in 28 seconds, they get off Scot-free.